Comments for Conflict Remedy http://conflictremedy.com Journey to the heart of communication. Thu, 06 Dec 2012 07:30:36 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.4 Comment on Five Steps Divorced Parents Can Take to Cool Down Holiday Conflict by Madan Ahluwalia http://conflictremedy.com/five-steps-divorced-parents-can-take-to-cool-down-holiday-conflict/#comment-1682 Madan Ahluwalia Thu, 06 Dec 2012 07:30:36 +0000 http://conflictremedy.com/?p=2051#comment-1682 I love reading this article. It offers practical advise. Sometimes the answers /solutions are very simple!! I love reading this article. It offers practical advise. Sometimes the answers /solutions are very simple!!

]]> Comment on A “Novel” Approach to Building Empathy across Differences by Pam Austin http://conflictremedy.com/a-novel-approach-to-building-empathy-across-differences/#comment-1076 Pam Austin Wed, 08 Aug 2012 23:33:17 +0000 http://conflictremedy.com/?p=1877#comment-1076 Another reason I so resonate with you; I have been an avid reader since the very beginning. My favorite thing was to have my folks read stories to me (especially fantasy and happily-ever-afters). Wer have many of the same reading likes and I am rarely without a book to read; I feel most secure when I already have a few lined up behind the one I'm working on now. I just finished A Discovery of Witches and am reading the 2nd novel now. Most fascinating, combining many of the genres you mention. Just had to share! Love, Pam Another reason I so resonate with you; I have been an avid reader since the very beginning. My favorite thing was to have my folks read stories to me (especially fantasy and happily-ever-afters). Wer have many of the same reading likes and I am rarely without a book to read; I feel most secure when I already have a few lined up behind the one I’m working on now.

I just finished A Discovery of Witches and am reading the 2nd novel now. Most fascinating, combining many of the genres you mention. Just had to share! Love, Pam

]]> Comment on Bullies, Babies, and the Birth of Empathy by Anastasia E. http://conflictremedy.com/bullies-babies-and-the-birth-of-empathy/#comment-750 Anastasia E. Tue, 12 Jun 2012 04:19:07 +0000 http://conflictremedy.com/?p=839#comment-750 This is a nice introduction to empathy. However, as the parent of bullied and traumatized children, I think there needs to be this and many more approaches towards the emotional intelligence quotient. We teach towards an intellectual barbarian paradigm in our schools these days. The poor teachers are strapped in the "teach for the test" no child left behind mode. They have little time to try and instill life lessons, which are the most important of all. My children were brought up to be polite and empathic. Their trauma arises from finding out that other children are not brought up with the same message, and cruelly so. Both of my children were bullied for their race and for their spiritual beliefs, almost every day they would come home from school and ask " Why do they treat me like this? I didn't do anything." The most terrible thing is, especially for my daughter, the bullying started in kindergarten and hasn't let up yet. She is now under treatment for severe depression and many other manifestations from the bullying on mental, emotional and physical levels. Many children, and unfortunately many parents, have very little in the way of what we would call 'common civility': please, thank you, excuse me, may I help you, etc. We see it from children who shove past adults to get in a door, including the frail elderly, and from adults, with children in their car, engaging in road rage. School administrations need many modes of anti-bullying methods; the ones available for the Sonoma Unified School district are woefully inadequate. As one administrator told me in response to my complaints of my son being beat up almost daily, "Well, we all know that some kids are just more bullied than others." No, we do not "all know that." At least some of us know this is a case of inadequate instruction of positive emotional qualities in children, not a forgone conclusion. With an administrative attitudes such as this, however, one can see why such bullies can develop in elementary school, and intensify in middle school. It has to stop. Unfortunately, it was almost too late for my daughter before we found out how very depressed she really was. Parents of bullied children need to know the signs, and should have materials from the schools telling them what to look for in their children, before it manifests as a severe mental illness or life ending problem. This is a nice introduction to empathy. However, as the parent of bullied and traumatized children, I think there needs to be this and many more approaches towards the emotional intelligence quotient. We teach towards an intellectual barbarian paradigm in our schools these days. The poor teachers are strapped in the “teach for the test” no child left behind mode. They have little time to try and instill life lessons, which are the most important of all.
My children were brought up to be polite and empathic. Their trauma arises from finding out that other children are not brought up with the same message, and cruelly so. Both of my children were bullied for their race and for their spiritual beliefs, almost every day they would come home from school and ask ” Why do they treat me like this? I didn’t do anything.” The most terrible thing is, especially for my daughter, the bullying started in kindergarten and hasn’t let up yet. She is now under treatment for severe depression and many other manifestations from the bullying on mental, emotional and physical levels. Many children, and unfortunately many parents, have very little in the way of what we would call ‘common civility’: please, thank you, excuse me, may I help you, etc. We see it from children who shove past adults to get in a door, including the frail elderly, and from adults, with children in their car, engaging in road rage. School administrations need many modes of anti-bullying methods; the ones available for the Sonoma Unified School district are woefully inadequate. As one administrator told me in response to my complaints of my son being beat up almost daily, “Well, we all know that some kids are just more bullied than others.” No, we do not “all know that.” At least some of us know this is a case of inadequate instruction of positive emotional qualities in children, not a forgone conclusion. With an administrative attitudes such as this, however, one can see why such bullies can develop in elementary school, and intensify in middle school. It has to stop.
Unfortunately, it was almost too late for my daughter before we found out how very depressed she really was. Parents of bullied children need to know the signs, and should have materials from the schools telling them what to look for in their children, before it manifests as a severe mental illness or life ending problem.

]]> Comment on Bullies, Babies, and the Birth of Empathy by Bill http://conflictremedy.com/bullies-babies-and-the-birth-of-empathy/#comment-486 Bill Tue, 01 May 2012 16:12:58 +0000 http://conflictremedy.com/?p=839#comment-486 Hi Lorraine, I'm a teacher (and a parent) and I enjoyed your article. It reminds me that we all have a responsibilty to teach and model empathy for the children in our lives. Thanks. Hi Lorraine,
I’m a teacher (and a parent) and I enjoyed your article. It reminds me that we all have a responsibilty to teach and model empathy for the children in our lives. Thanks.

]]> Comment on Welcome to Conflict Remedy! by Janie http://conflictremedy.com/welcome-to-conflict-remedy-journey-to-the-heart-of-communication/#comment-432 Janie Mon, 02 Apr 2012 02:22:04 +0000 http://conflictremedy.com/?p=1607#comment-432 WOW! Congratulations, Lorraine. Your site is beautiful, thoughtful, information rich, and inspirational. What wonderful work this is. I can't wait for teleclasses. Janie WOW! Congratulations, Lorraine. Your site is beautiful, thoughtful, information rich, and inspirational. What wonderful work this is. I can’t wait for teleclasses. Janie

]]> Comment on Freaky Friday and Building Parent-Teen Empathy by Conflict Resolution and Creating a Culture of Empathy —video dialogue | Conflict Remedy http://conflictremedy.com/freaky-friday-and-building-parent-teen-empathy/#comment-294 Conflict Resolution and Creating a Culture of Empathy —video dialogue | Conflict Remedy Thu, 01 Mar 2012 20:41:31 +0000 http://conflictremedy.com/?p=922#comment-294 [...] Freaky Friday and Building Parent—Teen Empathy World Cup of Forgiveness Bullies, Babies, and the Birth of Empathy Empathy, Conflict Resolution, and the Fourth Dimension Woman Bites Do: Acknowledging My Part at Work (and in the park) The Heart of Communication, from Strife to Harmony [...] [...] Freaky Friday and Building Parent—Teen Empathy World Cup of Forgiveness Bullies, Babies, and the Birth of Empathy Empathy, Conflict Resolution, and the Fourth Dimension Woman Bites Do: Acknowledging My Part at Work (and in the park) The Heart of Communication, from Strife to Harmony [...]

]]> Comment on Effective, Respectful, Communication—Lessons from Occupy Santa Rosa by Ivy (Wilson) Roberts http://conflictremedy.com/effective-respectful-communication-lessons-from-occupy-santa-rosa/#comment-165 Ivy (Wilson) Roberts Sun, 20 Nov 2011 16:26:24 +0000 http://conflictremedy.com/?p=1237#comment-165 That's really interesting. Nice job making a positive impact within a controversial movement. As a Seattle Mediator I might see if the Occupy Seattle conflict needs help. <a href="http://www.lighthousemediation.com/" rel="nofollow"> That’s really interesting. Nice job making a positive impact within a controversial movement. As a Seattle Mediator I might see if the Occupy Seattle conflict needs help.

]]> Comment on Teaching People to Fish in The Sea of Conflict –The Benefits of Conflict Coaching
 by Julie Ann http://conflictremedy.com/teaching-people-to-fish-in-the-sea-of-conflict-the-benefits-of-conflict-coaching%e2%80%a8/#comment-156 Julie Ann Sun, 29 May 2011 00:17:07 +0000 http://conflictremedy.com/?p=862#comment-156 Your article was very informative and very well written !! I will continue to come back to your blog to see what articles you have in the future Your article was very informative and very well written !! I will continue to come back to your blog to see what articles you have in the future

]]> Comment on Culture Clash—-Immigrant Parents and Their Teens by Helena Friedmann http://conflictremedy.com/culture-clash-immigrant-parents-and-their-teens/#comment-149 Helena Friedmann Mon, 25 Apr 2011 08:48:19 +0000 http://conflictremedy.com/?p=957#comment-149 Dear Lorraine Quality time - sitting down or standing face to face - investing time in confrontation here in the humanworld - not only in the networld - are today keys of peace and communication. Children invest by actively confronting parents, grandparents and teachers in training, reviewing, investigating communication patterns and are building their communication career. We - the adults - learn the new communication patterns and are confronted with our old patterns and can chose to adapt revise or keep some. You are setting the frame with appointments and the rest follows. These appointments should we - the teachers - create as well with our students - quality con-front-ation time together showing our faces - fronts -each other. Thank you for your precious work. Cordial regards Helena Dear Lorraine
Quality time – sitting down or standing face to face – investing time in confrontation here in the humanworld – not only in the networld – are today keys of peace and communication. Children invest by actively confronting parents, grandparents and teachers in training, reviewing, investigating communication patterns and are building their communication career. We – the adults – learn the new communication patterns and are confronted with our old patterns and can chose to adapt revise or keep some.
You are setting the frame with appointments and the rest follows. These appointments should we – the teachers – create as well with our students – quality con-front-ation time together showing our faces – fronts -each other.
Thank you for your precious work.
Cordial regards
Helena

]]> Comment on Culture Clash—-Immigrant Parents and Their Teens by Age Smies http://conflictremedy.com/culture-clash-immigrant-parents-and-their-teens/#comment-148 Age Smies Sun, 24 Apr 2011 23:04:57 +0000 http://conflictremedy.com/?p=957#comment-148 I totally agree with the observations and recommendations. I would like to note that governments need to do more to introduce immigrants to our different standards. (I can say that as I am an immigrant also)Another point worthwhile making is that many parents run into difficulties with their children or society due to religious beliefs. Muslims and dress, some Mormons with marital ideas etc. Even more mainstream churches often have ideas that clash with today's youth. I totally agree with the observations and recommendations. I would like to note that governments need to do more to introduce immigrants to our different standards. (I can say that as I am an immigrant also)Another point worthwhile making is that many parents run into difficulties with their children or society due to religious beliefs. Muslims and dress, some Mormons with marital ideas etc. Even more mainstream churches often have ideas that clash with today’s youth.

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