by Lorraine Segal | Apr 18, 2022
Invisible rules can lead to conflict. Are you unconsciously expecting other people to automatically follow your invisible rules? If so, you may be setting yourself up for unnecessary conflicts. Several years ago, I read a book about forgiveness by Fred Luskin. He has...
by Lorraine Segal | Mar 14, 2020
Don’t over-explain in difficult conversations–it tends to backfire. I’m going to make a generalization—Women and sensitive men tend to over-explain. We all want to be understood, and it is natural to want to explain our perspective to someone we...
by Lorraine Segal | Sep 16, 2017
The zen of the gym part 3 Do you judge people for breaking a rule you always follow? I realized recently that I was obliviously violating one of the rules posted at my gym, while burningly conscious of the rules other people were ignoring. I know...
by LorraineSegal | Jan 18, 2016
Shoulds and expectations are a big source of conflict. If we have a clear, though completely unrealistic expectation of how the other person should behave, or what should happen, we can get ourselves in all kinds of trouble when they don’t follow our “script.” For...
by LorraineSegal | Apr 5, 2015
Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine.–Ralph Waldo Emerson We have a choice Perhaps my biggest learning on my own journey to healing and recovery is that I have a choice at any moment, to continue to stand in a...