2 people listening can solve problems and conflictsCourage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.”—Winston Churchill

What does it take to sit down and listen to someone we disagree with, instead of dismissing them as the enemy or turning to violence?

First we must accept that they are full and imperfect human beings, just as we are, not cardboard characters in our own personal or professional drama.

Second, we must understand that good people can hold different beliefs and opinions. We may find their views wrong or event abhorrent, but must not equate that with believing they are themselves evil.

We must also understand that listening isn’t the same as agreeing. We can listen to the perspective, history, and motivations of others without abandoning our own beliefs. We can embrace their humanity and acknowledge what we have in common even when we disagree.

Instead of demonizing them as the enemy, we must find a way to open our hearts and spirits to a bigger reality holding multiple truths. This can be a frightening concept to those who find safety in holding fast to narrow certainties.

My work as a communication coach and mediator is always to offer support and gentle awareness that strengthens clients’ compassion for themselves and others. With willingness and practice, we can all find peaceful, creative ways to work through conflicts and honor our differences.

Lorraine Segal provides one on one communication coaching, training, and mediation by telephone and face to face. Her business, Conflict Remedy is based in Santa Rosa California. She also teaches in the conflict resolution program at Sonoma State University.

To schedule a free initial telephone consultation or get more information, you can reach Lorraine at (707) 236-8079,  or through this blog. Sign up for my e-newsletter and receive a free report on Hot Buttons or Bullying(see sidebar).

© Lorraine Segal www.ConflictRemedy.com