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Bringing five percent more compassion can really make a difference in conflicts.
What would happen if you could bring just a little bit more compassion and love to conflicts and disagreements? I think you’d be amazed at the positive effect.
I’ve often talked with clients and students about the value of opening our hearts to compassion, empathy, and curiosity in conflicts.
5% More
Recently, I heard a presentation with Tina Quinn, an author and coach. One technique she used with clients, is to ask them to bring 5% more compassion or love to a difficult situation. She wasn’t speaking specifically about conflict, but I was struck with how useful this technique could be.
What could 5% more compassion and love look like in a conflict or difficult conversation?
- 5% more breathing and pausing before responding rather than reacting.
- 5% more listening with curiosity and empathy.
- 5% more openness to their perspective.
- 5% more checking that you’ve understood.
- 5% more willingness to look at your contribution to the problem.
- 5% more compassion for yourself as well.
- 5% more willingness to let go and move on.
The special beauty of 5% more is that you are not being asked to be perfect, or to change completely: this is about progress not perfection.
Lorraine’s (gentle) challenge
What would your 5% more look like to help difficult situations right now?
If you try this out, I’d really like to hear your commitment and how it worked for you.
Lorraine Segal has a deep passion for helping leaders in organizations and corporations communicate more clearly, manage conflicts, and let go of resentments. The goal: to create a more harmonious and productive workplace. Through her business, Conflict Remedy, Lorraine creates customized training and coaching programs for non-profit organizations, corporations, and government agencies. She is also lead instructor for the Conflict Management Certificate, a professional development program at Sonoma State University. She is a contributing author to the books, Stand Up, Speak Out Against Workplace Bullying and Living Together: Surviving a Pandemic. She writes a blog through her Conflict Remedy website and was listed as one of the Top Conflict Management experts to follow on LinkedIn. Contact Lorraine at https://ConflictRemedy.com for more information, to request a free consultation for you and your organization or to sign up for her newsletter.
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© Lorraine Segal ConflictRemedy 2021