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Choosing Optimism
Choosing optimism helps you navigate conflict.
How you view conflict and how skillfully you navigate it is deeply impacted by your attitude.
When you are mired in fear or resentment, or telling yourself a negative story of what the future holds, it is much more difficult to have a positive outcome to a conflict or dispute.
I have recently been inspired and heartened by the words of Dr. Michael Quach about optimism. Although he doesn’t address conflict directly, at a recent conference, Dr. Quach, a psychiatrist who heads up Sonoma County’s Behavioral Health Agency, advocated for optimism. And as one of the Vietnamese refugees who fled the Fall of Saigon in a small boat on dangerous seas with his family, he is certainly qualified to talk about this.
“Optimism is not just a trait or mood or emotion, it is also a choice,” he said. “We have a choice to be optimistic…My dad taught me that optimism is a discipline, shaped in the darkest waters of our lives….We can rewire our brains to be more optimistic.”
“We navigate an ocean we did not choose,” he said. “Remember, optimism doesn’t require you to pretend the storm isn’t raging. It simply demands that you believe with stubborn and absolute resolve that land exists beyond the mist.”
How can we apply this wisdom to conflicts?
Even if the situation feels dark and hopeless, and the other person seems like an enemy, you can choose to act as if better communication and positive transformation are possible. You don’t have to fully believe this, but can stubbornly continue to act as if it is true, to act in a way that helps bring it about, including listening, looking at your own part, finding and willingness to stick to the present possibilities instead of being stuck in the past.
When I offer individual coaching for people in conflict, I absolutely know that transformation is always possible and that miracle breakthroughs can happen. With a bit of willingness on their part, I “infect” my clients with optimism and their hearts and minds open to healing.
Related blog and other articles:
Journey from Vietnam Fuels Agency Optimism
What Is Conflict Transformation?
Lorraine Segal has helped over 2000 leaders and others in organizations and corporations communicate more clearly, transform conflicts, and let go of resentments. The goal: to create a more harmonious and productive workplace. Through her business, Conflict Remedy, Lorraine creates customized training and coaching programs for non-profit organizations, corporations, and government agencies and Sonoma State University. She was recently named one of the top 15 coaches in Santa Rosa by Influence Digest. She is a contributing author to the book, Stand Up, Speak Out Against Workplace Bullying. Her latest project, a memoir called: Angels and Earthworms, an unexpected journey to love, joy, and miracles, is about her transformation from miserable self-doubt to self-acceptance, true love, spiritual awareness, and right livelihood. Find out more about the memoir here. Contact Lorraine through ConflictRemedy to request a free consultation for you and your organization or to sign up for her conflict remedy newsletter and blog.
© 2026 Lorraine Segal ConflictRemedy.com