How to Make Every Mistake in a Conflict

How to Make Every Mistake in a Conflict

How to Make Every Mistake in a Conflict I read a letter in Dear Abby the other day which demonstrated a lot of the basic mistakes people make in a conflict. This one was about family dynamics, but the analysis and solution apply to many workplace situations as well....
Use Your Super Power to Transform Conflict

Use Your Super Power to Transform Conflict

Use your super power to transform conflict. When you envision a super power, what comes to mind first? My wonderful niece, who loves science fiction and fantasy just as much as I do, pointed out to me that the superpowers featured in movies and comics are frequently...
How To Transform Conflict at Work

How To Transform Conflict at Work

How To Transform Conflict at Work: One Example I just got concrete confirmation that the training and coaching I do to help leaders and others manage conflict more effectively actually works! Last year, I created a 10 hour five session training program for the staff...
Us versus Them

Us versus Them

Us versus Them “We have met the enemy and they are us.”—paraphrased from Walt Kelly in the Pogo comic strip. How inclusive is your “us”? And how can you expand it? I write a lot about the power of the stories we tell about ourselves and others to exacerbate or heal...
Is There an  Elephant in Your Meeting Room?

Is There an Elephant in Your Meeting Room?

Is there an  elephant in your meeting room?  If so, it may be fueling conflict and blocking solutions to problems. You might have heard the term “the elephant in the room”, which refers to a situation or crisis that everyone knows is there but are afraid or reluctant...

Do Employee Complaints Help or Harm the Workplace?

Do employee complaints help or harm the workplace? It depends. Like conflict itself, complaining has a bad reputation. That’s partly because we tend to think of the negative kind of complaints first. According to Alyson Meister and Nele Dael in their Harvard Business...
Habit and Conflict

Habit and Conflict

Habit and Conflict Do your habits affect how you experience and deal with conflict?  The short answer—yes! Our habits, for better or worse, are part of what makes us human. And they can make life easier. When I stumble into my kitchen in the early morning, half awake,...
Where Peace Is Lost to Conflict

Where Peace Is Lost to Conflict

Where peace is lost to conflict, how can we find it? Drawing inspiration for conflict transformation from science fiction. I often find science fiction novels thought provoking and inspiring. The ones I love most offer a hopeful vision of a better universe, and often...
Trigger Stacking and Conflict

Trigger Stacking and Conflict

Trigger stacking and conflict. A series of emotional triggers can set off even the most centered person! The role of emotional triggers in conflict. I have frequently taught about and coached people through emotional triggers, also called hot buttons.  When something...