Choosing the Light of Hope

Christmas, Hanukah, Kwanza, Diwali, Solstice—what do these holidays from different religious and cultural traditions have in common?  They all take place in the darkest part of the year, and they all bring light in their rituals.

The return of the light

The long dark winter was frightening to many of our ancestors, and having a celebration that honored, among other things, the return of the light and the beginning of the end of darkness was comforting.

We need this assurance just as much today. There is so much out in the world and inside us right now that pulls us toward darkness and despair. But hope, joy, forgiveness, and right action are always possible. We can look at the darkness within, including resentment, rage, hopelessness and without—injustice, prejudice, and violent hatred against perceived enemies, and still choose to turn toward the light and to hope anyway. We can choose to trust that there is a path to harmony and compassion.

This affirming is key to transforming conflict as well. I know for me personally, the more I can do inner work, the more joy I can feel in my life and the more peaceful I feel inside. Don’t get me wrong, I feel rage and despair at times, but I keep choosing, over and over, to let them go, to trust, to hope, to persevere, to forgive. This isn’t about what others deserve, it is about what I deserve—a peaceful heart, love, joy, and to support others.

What essential teachings from conflict transformation can help us?

• We can recognize that our own histories and our world view create a narrative that feels compelling, but it is not the only possible story. We can recognize that others have a different story, and at the same time affirm that no story can justify violence.
• We can find compassion. We all have struggles, we all carry grief and anger. We all want love and acceptance As Maya Angelou famously said, “We are more alike than we are unalike.”
• We can affirm that most people don’t wish us harm. While I know some people commit horrifically evil acts or act out of cruel prejudice, most people aren’t focused on hurting us. They are simply, imperfectly, following their own path.
• With patience and curiosity we can come to understand other humans better, which helps us open our hearts to light and love.

These practices by themselves may not be enough to transform our workplaces or our world, but they can point us in the right direction. I don’t want to move through my days in a haze of bitterness or with a heavy heart. So I remind myself that hope is a choice. I point myself toward the light and do my best to heal and help others heal. And I send hope and good thoughts for the healing and repair of the world.

Lorraine Segal has helped over 2000 leaders and others in organizations and corporations communicate more clearly, transform conflicts, and let go of resentments. The goal: to create a more harmonious and productive workplace.  Through her business, Conflict Remedy, Lorraine creates customized training and coaching programs for non-profit organizations, corporations, and government agencies and Sonoma State University. She was recently named one of the top 15 coaches in Santa Rosa by Influence Digest. She is a contributing author to the book, Stand Up, Speak Out Against Workplace Bullying. Her latest project, a memoir called: Angels and Earthworms, an unexpected journey to love, joy, and miracles, is about her transformation from miserable self-doubt to self-acceptance, true love, spiritual awareness, and right livelihood. Find out more about the memoir here. Contact Lorraine through ConflictRemedy to request a free consultation for you and your organization or to sign up for her conflict remedy newsletter and blog.

Related articles:

Forgiving the World

Healing our Divisions in Troubled Times

©️ ConflictRemedy Lorraine Segal 2025