Graphic by L. Segal ConflictRemedy
Exclamation marks are OK at work!
Do you hesitate before using exclamation marks in workplace writings?
Women, much more than men, fear that using exclamation marks will make them seem unprofessional. A team of researchers did a series of studies and found that women do indeed use exclamation marks more than men, but, surprisingly, this usage was not viewed negatively. On the contrary, a use of exclamation marks was viewed as warm and positive and did not affect perceived competence of the user.
The Agony!
However, the researchers found that women stress and agonize over using exclamation marks far more than men do. I know I am very (self) conscious about using them. It seems to relate to how women leaders feel in professional settings in general.
The Double Bind
There has been so much judgment, so many assumptions that women are “too” emotional and expressive at work, too concerned with workplace relationships, lacking professional detachment. Many professional women, especially women of color, feel that they are walking a tightrope. Too assertive and they are viewed negatively as unladylike or inappropriate even if a man doing the exact same thing would be viewed as a leader.
Too polite or low key, or too collaborative, and women are perceived as lacking leadership qualities and too soft. Although collaboration and high level listening are increasingly seen as valuable skills for managers and C-Suite leaders, prejudice against different leadership styles, especially when demonstrated by women still prevails at far too many workplaces. We have a long way to go to appreciate and honor women leaders and their approaches.
Be Lavish!
But at least as far as exclamation marks go, women are self-censoring or self -interrogating unnecessarily. We can be lavish and expressive in our use of exclamation marks without stressing over it or paying a price!
Lorraine Segal has helped over 2000 leaders and others in organizations and corporations communicate more clearly, transform conflicts, and let go of resentments. The goal: to create a more harmonious and productive workplace. Through her business, Conflict Remedy, Lorraine creates customized training and coaching programs for non-profit organizations, corporations, and government agencies and Sonoma State University. She was recently named one of the top 15 coaches in Santa Rosa by Influence Digest. She is a contributing author to the book, Stand Up, Speak Out Against Workplace Bullying. Her latest project, a memoir called: Angels and Earthworms, an unexpected journey to love, joy, and miracles, is about her transformation from miserable self-doubt to self-acceptance, true love, spiritual awareness, and right livelihood. Find out more about the memoir here. Contact Lorraine through ConflictRemedy to request a free consultation for you and your organization or to sign up for her conflict remedy newsletter and blog.
Related articles:
HBR: Don’t Overthink Your Use of Exclamation Points
Good Leaders Navigate Conflict Skillfully
© Lorraine Segal ConflictRemedy 2025