Listening with Your Third Ear
Active listening, compassionate listening, listening to understand, deep listening, divine listening. I have used all these expressions when explaining to students and clients how powerful listening can be for effective conflict transformation. And I use these concepts to help me listen more deeply and effectively to my own clients.
I am particularly charmed by this term, listening with the third ear, because it evokes listening with intuitive awareness beyond the physical, of deeply understanding what isn’t said. In psychic circles, practitioners talk frequently about opening the third eye, seeing with your inner knowing that which isn’t visible to your two physical eyes alone.
Third ear permutations
A new book by Elizabeth Rosner– Third Ear: Reflections on the Art and Science of Listening, discusses this concept in depth. Theodore Reik, originated the phrase in his 1948 book about his experience of being a psychoanalyst. And, I found a number more recent articles sharing this concept in different contexts, such as using your third ear to truly listen to yourself or to listen to your own or others’ unmet and unspoken needs.
How does the third ear help transform conflict?
- Using your third ear invites you to pay close attention to inner and outer information.
- It helps you slow down and not jump to conclusions.
- It supports curiosity and prompts helpful questions you can ask yourself, such as:
- What do they really mean?
- Why are they saying it?
- Am I really hearing what they are saying, or are their words triggering a past wound or story of mine?
So much unnecessary conflict is caused by misunderstanding. When you “open” your third ear, and follow this process internally, the conversation may not feel like a conflict at all. Or, at the very least, increased awareness can spark a far better conversation with another person.
Lorraine Segal has helped over 2000 leaders and others in organizations and corporations communicate more clearly, transform conflicts, and let go of resentments. The goal: to create a more harmonious and productive workplace. Through her business, Conflict Remedy, Lorraine creates customized training and coaching programs for non-profit organizations, corporations, and government agencies and Sonoma State University. She was recently named one of the top 15 coaches in Santa Rosa by Influence Digest. She is a contributing author to the book, Stand Up, Speak Out Against Workplace Bullying. Her latest project, a memoir called: Angels and Earthworms, an unexpected journey to love, joy, and miracles, is about her transformation from miserable self-doubt to self-acceptance, true love, spiritual awareness, and right livelihood. Find out more about the memoir here. Contact Lorraine through ConflictRemedy to request a free consultation for you and your organization or to sign up for her conflict remedy newsletter and blog.
Related blog posts:
We’re All in This Together: Listening to Each Other in Troubled Times
© 2024 Lorraine Segal Conflict Remedy
