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Trigger stacking and conflict.
A series of emotional triggers can set off even the most centered person!
The role of emotional triggers in conflict.
I have frequently taught about and coached people through emotional triggers, also called hot buttons. When something happens that triggers a big reaction (fight, flight, freeze) from us, it is generally not just about the present. We react so strongly because it has triggered a past experience or repeated experiences with that person or others. Understanding these triggers can help us take a deep breath and respond rather than react, which gives us much better skills to get through conflicts.
But I only recently heard the related term trigger stacking from a blog post by conflict resolution expert Tammy Lenski.
What is Trigger stacking?
As soon as I heard this evocative term, I started looking online for more articles. Trigger stacking is experiencing a whole series of triggers, especially in a short time frame. Dog trainers, not my usual go-to experts, were the first to name this phenomena. Well trained dogs can stay calm and not act out when experiencing one or two triggers, but when there are repeated triggers (i.e. trigger stacking) then even the best behaved dog may lose their composure and bite, break away from a leash, or otherwise act out. This term is quite applicable to human behavior as well.
Many people can handle one small trigger or irritant, learning to breathe through it or rise above, but when sequential triggers pile up, our brains get tired of being “good”, and we are more likely to walk out, or act out. In various articles, writers have applied information about trigger stacking to help with migraines, stress hormones, and marital fights as well.
So how does trigger stacking apply to conflict management skills? The power of naming.
Language is powerful. I know from studying linguistics and the contrasting vocabulary of different languages, as well as from my conflict training, that if we can name something, if we have the words to describe it, we can thoughtfully look at what is happening rather than firing off an impulsive antagonistic reaction. Also, if we know to watch out for trigger stacking, we might be able to take a pause or a break and ask ourselves what’s going on, before those triggers stack up to a dangerous level.
Lorraine Segal has helped over 2000 leaders and others in organizations and corporations communicate more clearly, transform conflicts, and let go of resentments. The goal: to create a more harmonious and productive workplace. Through her business, Conflict Remedy, Lorraine creates customized training and coaching programs for non-profit organizations, corporations, and government agencies and Sonoma State University. She was recently named one of the top 15 coaches in Santa Rosa by Influence Digest. She is a contributing author to the book, Stand Up, Speak Out Against Workplace Bullying. Her latest project, a memoir called: Angels and Earthworms, an unexpected journey to love, joy, and miracles, is about her transformation from miserable self-doubt to self-acceptance, true love, spiritual awareness, and right livelihood. Find out more about the memoir here.Contact Lorraine through ConflictRemedy to request a free consultation for you and your organization or to sign up for her conflict remedy newsletter and blog.
Related blog posts plus additional information:
Fight or Flight and Other So-so Responses to Conflict
©2024 Lorraine Segal ConflictRemedy.com
