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Is conflict transformation a Hero’s Journey?
Last week I attended a beautiful workshop on the Hero’s Journey, offered by Stella Orange and Rebecca Liston of Las Peregrinas. Their approach is based in part on Joseph Campbell’s, and they apply it primarily to business and marketing. Listening to their eloquent explanations, I was struck by how this applies to transforming conflict as well.
In an earlier blog post, I wrote about why I describe the work I do with clients as conflict transformation rather than conflict resolution or conflict management.Transformation is what the hero’s journey is all about. So, I am boldly going to say that conflict transformation is a hero’s journey.
What is the Hero’s Journey and how can it reflect healing in conflict?
As Stella Orange explained it, the Hero’s Journey has seven stages:
- Status quo— a likable hero in zone of familiarity, maybe comfortable
- Desire–Hero hears a call, desires change (or change/challenge is forced upon them).
- Go–Cross the threshold from known to unknown. Walk through a portal, have new experiences.
- Search—Hero is tested, meets allies and enemies, finds magical tools.
- Find—The hero face monsters, or something they’re avoiding, which could be part of them or outside.
- Trade—Win a prize, but sacrifice something
- Return home and the cycle begins again.
What would this look like in conflict coaching?
- Status quo –Client has a way of interacting, of seeing the world and themselves that is comfortable, or at least comfortably familiar.
- Desire –There is a challenge, a conflict with another person or within themselves and the old way of thinking and doing things aren’t taking care of the situation. They are frustrated and don’t know what to do.
- Go–Cross the threshold—Recognize that the tools they have aren’t adequate to resolve the conflict and continuing to repeat the same approach isn’t going to help.
- Search for help, for new ways of thinking and acting, new tools, helpers. This is the point where many clients find me for help with an intractable conflict, a difficult conversation they don’t know how to have, or a cycle of conflict that keeps reoccurring.
- Find: Face a monster, or their own denial, what they have been avoiding. I guide them, with love and compassion, informed by their willingness to look at a conflict with new eyes, to see their shadow spots, to begin to learn about new tools and attitudes that will serve them better. They rise to the challenge with courage, overcoming their fear. This could include recognizing the harm they have unintentionally done others, or how their avoidance of conflict has made things worse. They may need to look at their emotional triggers, their assumptions about the other person or the situation, and stories they tell about it all. This is a big part of the work I do with clients.
- Trade: It takes courage and willingness to give up old ways of seeing, behaving, old beliefs. But the client/hero finds new tools and gifts and begins to practice using them. This can include new language for difficult conversations, forgiveness practices, and curiosity instead of judgment.
- Return—bit by bit, clients begin to integrate the new tools and feel comfortable using them, thinking and behaving differently. Their conflicts transform, dissolve, change for the better. They are amazed!
- Back home and the cycle starts again—there is always more to learn and heal!
I encourage you to think about how this “journey” can apply to your clients and your own work with conflict.
Lorraine Segal has helped over 2000 leaders and others in organizations and corporations communicate more clearly, transform conflicts, and let go of resentments. The goal: to create a more harmonious and productive workplace. Through her business, Conflict Remedy, Lorraine creates customized training and coaching programs for non-profit organizations, corporations, and government agencies and Sonoma State University. She was recently named one of the top 15 coaches in Santa Rosa by Influence Digest. She is a contributing author to the book, Stand Up, Speak Out Against Workplace Bullying. Her latest project, a memoir called: Angels and Earthworms, an unexpected journey to love, joy, and miracles, is about her transformation from miserable self-doubt to self-acceptance, true love, spiritual awareness, and right livelihood. Find out more about the memoir here. Contact Lorraine through ConflictRemedy to request a free consultation for you and your organization or to sign up for her conflict remedy newsletter and blog.
Related blog post:
What Is Conflict Transformation?
© Lorraine Segal ConflictRemedy 2023