Mobbing, although sometimes mischaracterized as workplace conflict, is actually a pernicious and dangerous workplace injury. It isn’t as common as individual bullying, because it tends to occur more to tenured college/school faculty, or to employees in the hospitals, factories, and other workplaces that have strong union or seniority systems.
But those of us who have survived a mobbing will never forget it.
Defining Mobbing
So what exactly is mobbing? The term itself comes from animal psychology; an example is the ugly duckling being cruelly pecked by the flock because he looks different.
Mobbing in the workplace is a kind of mass bullying, with collusion or active participation of the management. It is a group campaign of harassment and cruelty, conscious or unconscious, designed to undermine the confidence, impugn the competence, and undercut the effectiveness of certain employees.
Who is targeted?
Ironically, the most productive, innovative, and principled employees are frequently targeted, especially if they are creative problem solvers, dedicated hard workers or idealists devoted to achieving the professed mission and vision of the organization.
Other likely targets are those who are don’t fit with the dominant workplace culture such as members of a minority religion, sexual orientation, or ethnicity, those whose first language is not English, and, in academia, those from a working class background.
If they are comfortable with their differences and expect equitable treatment, the likelihood of being mobbed increases.
Individuals who have the courage to stand up for others who are being attacked, can themselves become mobbing victims, even if they don’t fit the other categories.
Employees who are innovative, different, and courageous are at extreme risk of mobbing in any dysfunctional organization.
Why do people mob?
Motives of mobbers overlap with those of bullies. Those who mob often feel secretly inadequate and threatened by those more competent and creative. Or they may be aware on some level that they have benefited from discrimination against other groups and are grimly determined to hold on to their existing privilege, however unjustified.
They may be terrified of change and feel as if their very survival hinges on the maintenance of the status quo. They may believe they are waging a righteous war against evil influences. In their minds, the perceived threat justifies any action or behavior, any accusations to undermine the targeted person, even blatant lies, gross exaggerations, or patent injustice.
What happens in a mobbing?
Some common mobbing actions include:
- ignoring people’s work or giving credit to others,
- discrediting their work and magnifying minor mistakes,
- taking away their responsibilities,
- leaving them out of important meetings,
- spreading vicious lies and rumors about targets’ personal or professional lives,
- giving them undeservedly poor evaluations,
- trashing their offices or homes,
- even threatening or attempting physical violence;
- in some cases accusing those targeted of initiating the violence they were victims of.
They characterize the victims as difficult or impossible to work with and blame them for bringing the problems on themselves.
Why don’t mobbing victims just leave?
If people didn’t have seniority or tenure, they would most likely be fired or quit when they become the target of such mistreatment. But, those who are the financial mainstays of their families, those who have struggled and sacrificed mightily to succeed professionally, or those whose self-esteem is entirely intertwined with their work, find it difficult to leave even in the face of horrendous abuse.
The consequences to mobbing targets.
At its worst, campaigns of mobbing have led to the deaths of those targeted, either because of suicide or life threatening illnesses that would have been manageable without the overwhelming stress of this hostile work environment.
Many struggle with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).
Some of them, previously successful but unable to comprehend what happened to them, have never worked again or taken jobs far below their level of education and experience.
Others have lost everything–homes, families and friends. A few of these have “gone postal” and become violent themselves toward the perpetrators.
Some have engaged in protracted legal struggles with their organizations, successfully or not, while some have become experts, speakers and writers about mobbing and turned their experiences into a new cause or career.
In my own case, I am grateful I found support and got perspective on the underlying reasons for the abuse heaped on me. But, no amount of understanding or detachment was enough to counter the impact of the toxic environment I was in. It began to affect my health, and I finally had to walk away.
Now, I have my own business in the conflict resolution field, and offer training, classes, conflict coaching, and mediation to help individuals and organizations understand and deal with workplace communication, conflict, bullying and mobbing.
If you are being mobbed—take heart and take action.
If you believe you are being mobbed or are at risk of becoming a mobbing victim, you are not alone. It is important to name what is happening and understand that you are not responsible for the campaign against you.
Finding other sources of spiritual strength and validation, and getting support outside of the workplace are crucial. Documenting everything that happens can sometimes be helpful, but is rarely enough to stop the campaign of harassment, no matter how blatant.
Please take note: HR departments and unions need to be approached with extreme caution, because staff rarely have sufficient training to deal effectively with this issue.
I’ve listed some online resources below, including some sources for this article.
Finally, be willing to walk away
If, like me, you find that no attitude shift or action is enough to let you feel safe, sane, and healthy at work, I urge you to find the courage to leave. No job is worth the emotional, professional, and physical devastation which mobbing can create.
Lorraine Segal has her own Santa Rosa, California based business, Conflict Remedy, transforming workplace communication and conflict through teaching, training and coaching. She offers coaching and webinars by video conferencing as well as face to face She also teaches in the Conflict Resolution program at Sonoma State University and coaches managers for the Department of the Interior through ChiResolutions.
Mobbing Resources:
The Mobbing Portal—many articles and resources.
Workplace Mobbing: Individual and Family Health Consequences Maureen Duffy & Len Sperry 2007.
Workplace Mobbing in Academe—Kenneth Westerhues’ website with many articles, videos, and other resources.
The content and development of mobbing at work Heinz Leymann
Women and Workplace Mobbing—Dr. Jocelynne Scutt
At the Mercy of the Mob–Kenneth Westerhues
Mobbing photo credit: On The Issues Magazine Aimee Lee via photopin (license) © Lorraine Segal 2010 https://ConflictRemedy.com
A very interesting and informative article on a subject that is not limited to the workplace and should be part of the training information for any organization and, I believe, the general public.
This kind of behaviour is rampant in our political system and has the potential to “bring down” political leaders – and others in the public sphere – to the detriment of the general public.
Self awareness and self questioning should become part of the educational process because, in my opinion, this is where change becomes possible – both for the individual and the group.
I appreciate reading these articles because it raises my self awarenes.
Thanks,
Thank you for your courage in discussing this significant topic and for sharing your personal experience and insights.
How would you suggest those who believe they are targets get to the place where they can “name what is happening” and understand that they are not responsible for the conduct – whether it be in an organizational setting, or as Helga points out above, in our broader culture?
The synergy of self-doubt and lack of understanding by society in general can be devastating to the target. Where can he/she turn – particularly, if he/she isn’t even aware of the phenomenon of mobbing?
Without question, more education on mobbing is critical.
I’ll never forget the attractive,articulate woman in her 30s who came to our law firm about a year ago. She had no appointment and showed up at the end of the day. She stated she was a victim of mobbing and clearly described her situation.
To someone unfamiliar with the concept of mobbing, the story sounded unbelievable. The attorney’s reaction: to rather patronizingly “validate” this woman’s story, but to firmly suggest that she allow us to provide a taxi to the nearest mental health facility. The woman looked defeated. She had hoped she’d found someone who would help her. Instead, we basically let her know we thought she had mental health issues and didn’t believe her.
I often wonder what happened to her. We could have done so much better.
Thank you again, Lorraine.
Debra Healy
agree2agree
Healy Conflict Management Services
Thank you for a very insightful article and for listing resources to deal with mobbing.
The article brought back memories of a regretful time in my work life when I witnessed mobbing (of a coworker) and did nothing to stop it. The person being mobbed eventually left and flourished in another company.
Back then, she did not want to leave for some of the reasons that you list in your article. But in the end, leaving turned out to be a very good decision on her part.
Thanks for your comment about my post on mobbing. I’m glad your colleague was able to leave and recover. As I was learning about mobbing and how it described what happened to me, I also realized with horror that when I was in my 20s I didn’t recognize or try to stop the mobbing of a co-worker. I always mention this to clients and students, because If we are not aware, we can all play various roles.
Blessings,
Lorraine
Thank you for an informative and very compassionate article. I was mobbed 20 years ago (in academia), and neither my career nor emotional health ever recovered from that brutal experience. Very much like PTSD victims, I frequently still have flashbacks of the cruelty I experienced. I tried finding help during (from administrators) and since (psychotherapy), but basically nothing works. Very few therapists are familiar with the phenomenon, and therefore can’t help mobbing victims. I’ve resigned myself to being a scarred individual with a very broken past, underemployed and hanging on the best I can.
Dear Denise,
Thank you for your comment. I’m so sorry to hear about your ongoing problems. I just wanted to propose a few techniques/resources you might not be aware of. I’ve included a few websites to get you started if you’re interested in pursuing this.
–EMDR –Eye Movement Desensitization. This is a technique some hynotherapists and psychotherapists use that is very useful with trauma. I know it helped me. http://www.emdr.com/briefdes.htm
EFT–Emotional Freedom Triggers. This technique uses acupressure points to clear trauma and tap in positive messages. Some veterans with PTSD have found this very helpful. Here is an info link http://eft.mercola.com/ here is a link to a wonderful practitioner I worked with who helped me a lot. She also works on prosperity, but is very good with trauma as well. http://www.jenniferbloome.com/ She works on the phone, which might be useful.
Flower Essences–Bach, Flower Essence Society, & others. This is a kind of out there technique using drops under the tongue that supposedly work to heal on the etheric level. I don’t have a clue why it works, but I have used the essences myself and with clients as well. It really helped some of them heal from past trauma. Rescue Remedy is the best known combination which works on trauma, but there are wholistic health practitioners who use them and create individual combinations. http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/724685/treating_posttraumatic_stress_disorder.html?cat=68
–conflict coaching I also do conflict coaching by telephone or Skype. If you’d like a free 30 minute consultation to see if my skills in healing past conflicts would be helpful to you, please contact me by e-mail or telephone. (707) 236-8079
I encourage you not to give up. You deserve healing and wholeness.
Blessings,
Lorraine
My story is very similar to yours Denise. 20 years ago it started when the bully came to town. The setting was a large communications company on the East Coast who had just introduced a “productivity Plan” with constant threats of discipline up to termination. The techs with the most knowledge were put in harms way. While the less experienced techs had the “flush button” where they could hand off jobs they couldn’t handle to the more experienced techs to complete. This enabled the techs with less knowledge to be put into the “safe harbor” as it was called because of their acceptable amount a jobs per day. Thus, always getting the more difficult jobs led to poor productivity that always put the more experienced techs before the manager trying to explain what they had done the day before. What made it worse, is that the “new breed” of managers did not know the job!!! I must have heard that, “it will all balance out” over a hundred times by all levels of management, labor, HR. There were 3 suicides in the course of 2 years, all from the same general geographical area. Being in this constant state of defense led to massive amounts of stress in my life that engaged my fight or flight mechanism over and over again. It taught me a lot about mental illness and I’m still learning. Much recent information pertaining to the discoveries in neuroscience illustrate just how devastating mobbing is. Many of the tactics used on me have been traced back to Nazi Germany’s secret Stasi Police who implemented a no touch torture technique called Zersetzung. So it is not surprising that nothing works to recover from the damage done to the overall well-being of the target. Two of my medical doctors, a PCP and a specialist in PTSD, both 30 year careers never heard of the term mobbing…….or so they say. Good luck to you. Support local state healthy workplace bills so victims will have recourse, and the perpetrators will think twice about inflicting such devastation into a person life. Families depend on these people.
I was also a victim of this and it has literally destroyed my life. I’ve been trying to keep my head up, but am having flashbacks and nightmares almost every day still. I worked for a company for a little over 3 years. I came from an surreal domestic abuse experience that had gone on for over 10 years and was diagnosed with PTSD. When my boss found out, she began to torture me in subtle ways. Over a two year period, the abuse went trough all levels, culminating in a whole group of people ganging up on me in work meetings and through computer chats etc. I was at the point I was literally going to kill myself. Then, they mobbed me out of my job. That was in June. I’m a single mom with no support system and will probably have to file for bankruptcy within the next six months. I cry all the time and just see no hope for the future. I’ve been in therapy, but it’s not working. Why is this allowed to go on?
So sorry to hear about your experiences. There is hope for healing, and I encourage you to hang in there and keep reaching out for support. I offer a free 45 minute phone session to listen, make sure we have clarity about the problem, and offer a plan. Please feel free to e-mail me to set up a time if that sounds helpful.
lo******@co************.com
I work for a ballet company with about 90 employees. I have taught and choreographed for eleven years for this company. I have always been popular with my students but am now under attack by my boss, the ballet master and one or two company members. I weigh 118 lbs, am a breast cancer survivor and a generally happy person. The ballet master has put up a poster of a pig with my name on it and written horrible things on it. For awhile this was hanging in the mens dressing room. My own boss had always been wonderful until I got cancer and wanted some time off (a total of about 6 days)while I underwent surgery, radiation and chemotherapy. My boss now tells me that the students have no respect for me, that she thinks I’m a fantastic teacher, but don’t really have the same credentials as the ballet master and should be able to carry on and just ignore the jokes and bullying. She even said that she hopes I get some help for the emotional stress it is causing me. She rolls her eyes at everything I say in a meeting, interrupts my classes by walking in and asking questions like “why are so many students missing? Don’t they like your class? I am unable to sleep, even have nausea. I have brought my 14 year old daughter to work with me to witness this abuse and she has been very supportive and shocked by the blatant rudeness. What can I do?
Dear Julie,
I’m so sorry to hear about the hard time you are having at work. That kind of cruelty is always wrong, and unfortunately far too common. There aren’t any easy fixes, but I can offer some suggestions.
Take care of yourself–eat well, sleep, do activities you love.
Read my recent blog posting about hope for the bullied brain https://conflictremedy.com/2010/12/12/bullying-can-cause-lasting-injury-but-there-is-hope/ It has suggestions to help.
Get support–counselor, therapist, spiritual adviser and/ or coach and friends who understand–so you don’t feel alone, can work on healing, and are reminded you don’t deserve this mistreatment.
Strategize how to shield yourself, let go, not take on their malice, how to protect yourself.
With caution, see if some of their actions are illegal and if you have recourse. Warning: this can make things worse.
Get validation and kudos elsewhere so you are reminded of your true worth.
If necessary, have an exit plan.
If you want coaching, I offer a free 30 minute telephone consultation to see if we are a good fit.
I send you all sympathy and good wishes. I had a very difficult time when I was mobbed, and I am much better now. I hope the same for you.
Blessings,
Lorraine
Hi, Julie –
I am so sorry to hear what you’ve been going through. It sounds devastating.
I’m not attorney, but I’ve been a certified paralegal for 12+ years in the area of employment law and civil rights on the plaintiff’s side. I am also a conflict consultant and mediator.
Although litigation would never be my first choice, it may be both necessary and helpful in your case. You may want to contact an employment law attorney (who represents employees as opposed to employers)in your area. You may have a cause of action for harassment and hostile work environment under the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) on the basis of your cancer diagnosis.
Litigation is no easy solution by any means, but it may give you an option to leaving your job. In many cases bullying is not related to a person’s membership in a protected class (i.e., the bullying is not related to one’s gender, race, nationality, religion, diability, etc.) which means the target of the bullying has no claim under the law. In such cases, leaving may be the only option.
At this point, I’d suggest you document everything: dates, times, witnesses, what happened. If you can take photos of the poster (or make a copy) without bringing attention to yourself, that might be helpful as well.
You may also want to file a civil rights complaint with your state bureau of labor and industry – this usually costs nothing.
At the very least, you may want to contact an attorney to find out about any statute of limitations that may affect your rights in the event you do decide to file a lawsuit.
If I can provide any assistance, please let me know.
Take care.
Debra Healy, MS, CLA
agree2agree
Healy Conflict Management Services
I know you mean well, but this may not be helpful, as serial, practised mobbers will prevent you utilising legal channels by the production of a web of lies, colluded false testimonies etc. I was forced to accept a ” compromise agreement”, which stated I would never in my lifetime discuss the reasons surrounding the termination of my employment. However the mobbers , despite giving me an excellect reference, continue to attempt to ruin my career by,”discreetly” implying their so-called concerns about me to others in the wider community.
I work in an extremely specialized field in medicine. After ten years of employment, I was mobbed. The four people who were the ringleaders were graduates from the same class that wanted a fellow classmate to be hired and there was no vacancy. So these horrible people started, over the course of two years, convincing my boss that I was lazy and incompetent. I’m the kind of person who keeps to herself and tries to stay out of office politics as much as possible. My line of work require that one place one’s initials and the initials of colleagues involved on a daily basis, the person documenting this ultimately is the primary person involved, therefore the one taking the most responsibility. One of the Fatal Four NEVER documented, and was always willing to go through the patients’ charts to find documentation”errors”. If it were one of these four people, she would right away tell that person to correct it. If it was me, she would go running with a photocopy of the “error” to my boss with it, so she could keep it in my file! (magnifying minor mistakes) I kept getting written up for everyday issues, some were things that were assumed that I was involved in, but these people would back each other up, so it was very difficult, if not impossible, to defend myself. The stress I was going through was just horrible, causing me to go through insomnia, night sweats, rapid heartbeat, etc.
In the end is was terminated, and, I heard through someone in another department, no later that one hour that I left on that day, the jobless classmate, was called, by my ex-boss, that she had a full time job.
When someone says “You needed to defend yourself more. If you did, you would still have your job”, it makes me want to slap them silly.
Hi, Carol –
Believe me – I am not naive to the extents workplace bullies and mobbers will go to to destroy their target. In my work in employment law, I see it on a daily basis.
What I’m stating is that based on my experience, Julie (unlike many targets of workplace abuse) may actually have a legal leg to stand on and that it might be worth at least contacting an employment attorney. However, if she is at interested in possible legal options, statutes of limitation apply – so, it’s better to contact an attorney sooner than later.
That said, litigation can be absolutely tortuous. Even if Julie does have a viable cause of action under the law, she may decide that’s not a direction she’d like to take – the risk of re-victimization is extremely high.
John Mayer’s lyrics to “Waiting on the World to Change” unfortunately are apropos to these kinds of situations: “…when they own the information, they can bend it all they want.”
I’m sorry that you’ve had to go through your own experience with workplace mobbing. I have as well. I felt my only option was to quit.
Take care, Carol.
Debra
Hi,
First off, I was raised with a very strong work ethic, since the age of 9 and now in my 50’s. I worked in the private sector, Educational, etc… and Corporate sector. The last job I was working at was a Hospital, it was my first time working in a Health related business, my career is in I.T. I would walk the floors, keep to myself, do my job, but the hospital at that time, was very family oriented and they brought me out of my shell, I opened up, but still maintaining my professional demeanor.
I was a vendor working there through an outside company, I learned the hospitals system so I can be more affective and it was something that happened by accident, when parts weren’t ordered or issues I needed help to finish, weren’t getting done. The children at the hospital and seeing them sick, had a big affect on me, so i wanted to make sure all the dept. were running correctly, at least from my part.
As time went on, 9yrs time, i saved the hospital money on unnecessary parts for machines, put myself completely last and made sure all got what they needed in their dept’s or as individuals. I got to the point where i was working on weekends if an emergency came up and most of the time, 11 hr. days and didn’t collect overtime, because i wanted to give back in a way, also my ticket system was crazy, because i needed to get others involved who where allowed to use their systems, but i was restricted. I was considered an employee of the hospital, with even the CFO mentioning it at a meeting one time.
When a 2nd vendor took over, i was being told by Directors at that the hospital wasn’t allowing them in, unless i was hired, i thought it was a joke, but it ended being the truth and i was part of the contract like a chair or desk. I was told to hire help, as my duties increased, i interviewed someone that upper management interviewed, but this person came in as someone they knew and were trying to get them a job, i interviewed the person myself, i had doubts, i was told to fire them if they didn’t work out, but i decided to give them a chance. I taught them, mentored them and they bloomed over time, their demeanor changed, more out going, but it started crossing lines unprofessionally, hugs to staft, kisses on the cheek, things of that nature, that really don’t have a place in a professional setting, unless one knows the person for a while and or personally.
6 years into to being there, a new manager started in the I.T. dept., he got it in for me, really bad, talk down, looked at me in private meetings with an aggressive and intimidating face and i took it, because being a professional, i tie my own hands and take it, outside where they have no power and my hands aren’t tied, different story, because i believe, if someone is tough enough, aggressive enough, intimidation or bullying to dish it out on anyone who cant defend themselves or restrict themselves for the great respect of their workplace and surroundings, should be able to take it, just as good as they can dish it out. I’m not saying violently, because words used wisely, will often do the trick and will accomplish more. I was raised to use my head, not my fists, my hands are for working.
The new manager from what i was told, was giving me a bad reputation, was allowing the guy i trained to move forward and over my seniority, by keeping me out of projects, not allowing me to sit in meeting, etc. The guy i trained, didn’t lift a finger to help me and i was doing the job of 3 to 4 men, alone, when i had to move, install, change and recycle machines. My duties went from break fix to 26 duties and everyone knew me in the hospital including those i didn’t know or realize knew me, in other words, i had a good reputation.
The manger from what i understand, got let go for some reasons. But then, the supervisor from a separate dept. in I.T., someone i knew personally, started in with me, badgering me everyday, belittling my work, my experience. Then later if i asked for help from anyone else, they joined in other ways, i was being called names, accused of being one way or another, rumors, you name it. I asked to do huge projects by myself, inventories of the hospital, also off sites, not mention doing inventory on things, that had nothing to do with the vendors products. While this was happening, my chest was tightening on me, the side of my head felt throbbing, my legs would cramp up at nights, because i walked a lot during the day and fast and had security cameras and security people, who would often comment at how fast i moved i the complex. And the kicker here is that, the very people with the smiles, who acted as friends, while seeing me fall apart, later were pointing the finger at me, while they were the cause of it all. I so confused at the time.
I know i was a threat to one, because i knew the job better and knew how to do it faster, another because they saw how many people from what i was told, loved me in the hospital and wanted that same recognition and it was something i earned, without looking for it, i simply wanted to do the best job i could, especially in a hospital setting with sick kids, tired parent and dept. who needed to have things done, in a fast pace and accurately.
I was being taken out of my environment, to work break fix, in other accounts. I was told that i was a threat to their contract with the hospital, which they were trying to get and i believe that stems from the supervisor who was badgering me and i who i knew personally, i guess they wanted to keep him happy.
The guy i trained, i guess got in good with third vendor we worked for, who they also went by their ticket numbers and probably thought, i wasn’t doing enough, but meanwhile i was even doing I.T. work, inventory, recycling, entering information in databases, spreadsheets, i was at an end. And the guy i trained, was moving around now, like he was the boss, when a one time, i was even the onsite manager, by the second vendor who i was hired as part of the contract the guy, came in afterwards.
In the end, i had to resign, my brother was sick and had passed away, my elderly mom was taking care of him and i couldn’t take the chance in not getting to her on time, if something were to happen to her, because it affected her. I sent out my resume in Dec. of last year, went two interviews, but by Christmas it would be harder, i took some time to take care of important things for my mom and then she fell ill.
In conclusion, now i’m 55, its’ been six months i haven’t worked, ive used up most of my funds, my retirement is money is gone and on one of the interviews, i was spoken to like, everything i accomplished, not only at the hospital but in other areas, my 3 to 4 page resume, doesn’t mean anything. What means today is and to get ahead, is to talk about how many dates a person has… sports… or which vacation theyre going on next. But as for work? That doesn’t count anymore, it’s like old time h.s., you have your jocks, cheerleaders, nerds and introverts. But if you treat a place professionally, while others have a certain mindset and you don’t adhere to it, you’re also out. I’m no prude, at all, but there’s a time and place for everything, even on the job.
One often sees on the news, crazy people doing bad thing and destroying lives. But in the end, isn’t the mob mentality, all coming down on one person or persons, destroying the targets life? I believe it’s just as violent if not worse, because its down slowly and at the mercy of some who have no conscious on their ways of acting. The other thing is that, when the bully or bullies come after a target, they only see the target. But often the target married, might have kids and that family might be counting on that paycheck, in some instance, just to get by.
I learned about mobbing, while i was searching the internet, trying to understand the why’s? And what i did learn was this, there are countries with mobbing laws in place, why not here? Why hasn’t a bill been passed on this subject… to the individuals who have lost everything because of such ways of acting towards others, isn’t that a crime? Taking away a persons, hard work, reputation, years lost of giving back and being so responsible that it even makes, not only the place of work look good, but also the vendor?
I contacted the guy i trained the first month i was out and he was upset about something and he told me, that he had told management, that he was hold the account there at the hospital, but the reality is that, by myself doing my normal duties, also doing other duties i wasn’t supposed too, working for free and totally applying myself, in reality, i held all the accounts there, from the first vendor who hired me, to the last. Unfortunately, life isn’t fair, especially in today’s world and i believe if i hadn’t resigned, i would have probable died, from all stress i was being put under.
So, for all on this site to understand, unless a government bill is passed on this matter, which believe me, i’m sure there are many others out there, who are going through the same things, in the past, in the future or even as i write this, need to know. Find another job, leave the hostile environment, for either something better or better tolerating work place, because it happens everywhere. Do it for you health, your family, because not even H.R. will save you, much less, stand by you. I realize this was a lengthy post, but it had to be said.
Thanks.