by LorraineSegal | Jun 26, 2012
The most difficult conflicts in my life have generally come from trying to impose my will on reality, particularly when I’m trying to control other people. When I have expectations of how life should be, how others should communicate and behave, or how events should...
by LorraineSegal | May 8, 2012
“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.”—Winston Churchill What does it take to sit down and listen to someone we disagree with, instead of dismissing them as the enemy or turning to violence? First we...
by LorraineSegal | Mar 1, 2012
How does building empathy help resolve conflict and create a better world? In a recent lively video dialogue Edwin Rutsch of The Center for Building a Culture of Empathy and I had a broad ranging discussion of this and other topics, including the connections between...
by LorraineSegal | Feb 4, 2012
One huge source of conflict and stress for parents of teens is figuring out how to set appropriate guidelines and consequences and then follow through successfully. Here are some tips and suggestions based on communication and conflict resolution principles: 1. Set...
by LorraineSegal | Jan 23, 2012
By remembering our younger selves, can we heal bitterness and estrangement in our present relationships? This is the theme of the novel, What Alice Forgot, by Liane Moriarty. As the novel begins, Alice falls and hits her head during a spinning class, and wakes up...
by LorraineSegal | Jan 6, 2012
If you find yourself in frequent arguments with your teen—take heart. According to a newly published study, the right kind of disagreement may help a teen ‘just say no’ to peers when pressured to use drugs or be sexually active. The longitudinal study at the...
by LorraineSegal | Dec 2, 2011
Assumptions we make about other people’s motives can be obstacles to resolving conflict and differences. We know the impact of their words or actions on us, but we are often merely guessing their intent or making up a story about them that validates our worst fears or...
by LorraineSegal | Nov 14, 2011
A story in my local newspaper about last month’s women’s soccer world cup offers a beautiful example of letting go, forgiveness, and fresh starts. Hope Solo, star goalkeeper for the US women’s soccer team, has a half brother she was estranged from. David had avoided...
by Lorraine Segal | Nov 13, 2011
Consensus building, like other valuable parts of negotiation and conflict resolution, is often messy and time consuming, but the result can be a vibrant, inclusive process of reaching decisions to which people feel deeply committed. I recently witnessed this in action...
by LorraineSegal | Oct 2, 2011
Letting go of grudges and resentments is key to transforming communication. Holding grudges is a very human thing to do, but it creates a number of problems for the individuals who hold them and for the people they are in relationship with....
