Healing our Divisions in Troubled Times

Healing our Divisions in Troubled Times

How can we heal the deep divisions in our country? How do we talk to each other with compassion and empathy across our differences? My blog, which I have been writing for eleven years this month (!) is one small place to start. I confess I am deeply grateful and...
Conflict and Culture on a Voyage to Mars

Conflict and Culture on a Voyage to Mars

A fictional voyage to Mars offers valuable lessons about resolving conflicts across differences. I recently watched Away, a beautiful miniseries about a near future journey to Mars. It was a suspenseful adventure drama, and, an inspiring model of effective...
Fault lines/Property lines in Conflicts

Fault lines/Property lines in Conflicts

Understanding fault lines and property lines can help us resolve conflicts. Fault lines—as a Californian I’m familiar with fault lines, the locations where tectonic plates meet and can shift, creating earthquakes. I live right on one of the smaller ones, the Steven’s...
Fight or Flight & other so-so responses to conflict

Fight or Flight & other so-so responses to conflict

Fight, Flight, Freeze—that what neurobiologists say are our ancestral (and current) unconscious response choices in a threatening or conflict situation. I recently came across a similar expression in a spiritual recovery book: blaming, running, or freezing.  In my...
Feedback, Hot Buttons, and White Fragility

Feedback, Hot Buttons, and White Fragility

Being open to difficult feedback, even about racism, can help you grow. Receiving feedback without feeling defensive or triggered is a challenge. I work with my students and clients to increase their resiliency and ability to get the best from feedback of supervisors...
Becoming Anti-Racist

Becoming Anti-Racist

“The beauty of anti-racism is that you don’t have to pretend to be free of racism to be an anti-racist. Anti-racism is the commitment to fight racism wherever you find it, including in yourself. And that’s the only way forward.”—Ijeoma Oluo  Anti-racism brings hope....
The Kindness of Strangers during a Pandemic

The Kindness of Strangers during a Pandemic

Amidst all the pandemic grief and fear, people step up in big ways to help each other Three years ago, I wrote a blog post called The Kindness of Strangers: Wildfires, Empathy and Conflict, about the many ways people helped each other during the devastating 2017...
Impatience, Conflict, and Covid-19

Impatience, Conflict, and Covid-19

Impatience can be a big contributor to conflict, and an obstacle to effective conflict resolution. I started writing a post about this impatience/conflict connection long before so many of us were stuck at home, working or not, impatiently wondering when we’ll ever be...
Don’t Over-Explain in Difficult Conversations

Don’t Over-Explain in Difficult Conversations

  Don’t over-explain in difficult conversations–it tends to backfire.  I’m going to make a generalization—Women and sensitive men tend to over-explain. We all want to be understood, and it is natural to want to explain our perspective to someone we...