Our Shame Stories and Conflict

Our Shame Stories and Conflict

Our shame stories can fuel conflict. Those of you who’ve been following my blog for a while, know that I often share about the concept of story and its influence on conflict. In my understanding, most of conflict is internal. The biggest part of our conflicts are...
Invisible Rules and Conflict

Invisible Rules and Conflict

Invisible rules can lead to conflict. Are you unconsciously expecting other people to automatically follow your invisible rules? If so, you may be setting yourself up for unnecessary conflicts. Several years ago, I read a book about forgiveness by Fred Luskin. He has...
The Problem of Perfection in Conflict Management

The Problem of Perfection in Conflict Management

The problem of perfection in conflict…How does perfection hurt conflict management at work? “The challenge is not to be perfect; it is to be whole.”—Jane Fonda I read this quote by Jane Fonda recently, and I was struck with how applicable the contrast of...
The Value of Venting

The Value of Venting

When someone or something hurts or angers you, is there a value in venting? Some social scientists and conflict management experts think venting is counterproductive, entrenching anger and resentment. However, in my own experience, venting can be valuable as long as...
Changing Hearts, Minds, and Behavior around Conflict

Changing Hearts, Minds, and Behavior around Conflict

Before I start teaching a course or workshop about conflict management, I always tell my students that I have a modest goal for the class: to change their hearts, minds, and behaviors. We all laugh, because of course that isn’t really a modest goal; in fact, it’s a...
Conflict Management Lessons from Improv Theater

Conflict Management Lessons from Improv Theater

Conflict management lessons from improv theater Can the rules of improv theater help us with conflict? Marianne Fleischer is a speechwriter-presentations skills executive coach and trainer who has a passion for improv theater. I met her in a leadership group and she...
Bring Five Percent more Compassion to Conflicts

Bring Five Percent more Compassion to Conflicts

  Bringing five percent more compassion can really make a difference in conflicts. What would happen if you could bring just a little bit more compassion and love to conflicts and disagreements? I think you’d be amazed at the positive effect. I’ve often talked...
To Solve a Problem at Work–Ask; Don’t Assume

To Solve a Problem at Work–Ask; Don’t Assume

To solve a problem at work, ask; don’t assume. When you ask and don’t assume you already know the answers, you’re likely to find better solutions to workplace problems. A friend of mine who is an HR professional was facing an uncomfortable situation at work. She...