Dealing with Toxic Co-Workers or Bosses

Dealing with Toxic Co-Workers or Bosses

Toxic co-workers or bosses can create big problems at work. As a workplace conflict transformation consultant, coach, and trainer, I have assisted many of my individual and organizational conflict clients who have had issues with toxic people in their workplaces. What...
What is Conflict Transformation?

What is Conflict Transformation?

I heard the term conflict transformation for the first time a few months ago, in a small committee meeting connected to my professional organization. I was completely captivated—I knew it was a better term for what I do and how I approach conflict than any I had heard...
Our Shame Stories and Conflict

Our Shame Stories and Conflict

Our shame stories can fuel conflict. Those of you who’ve been following my blog for a while, know that I often share about the concept of story and its influence on conflict. In my understanding, most of conflict is internal. The biggest part of our conflicts are...
Invisible Rules and Conflict

Invisible Rules and Conflict

Invisible rules can lead to conflict. Are you unconsciously expecting other people to automatically follow your invisible rules? If so, you may be setting yourself up for unnecessary conflicts. Several years ago, I read a book about forgiveness by Fred Luskin. He has...
The Problem of Perfection in Conflict Management

The Problem of Perfection in Conflict Management

The problem of perfection in conflict…How does perfection hurt conflict management at work? “The challenge is not to be perfect; it is to be whole.”—Jane Fonda I read this quote by Jane Fonda recently, and I was struck with how applicable the contrast of...
The Value of Venting

The Value of Venting

When someone or something hurts or angers you, is there a value in venting? Some social scientists and conflict management experts think venting is counterproductive, entrenching anger and resentment. However, in my own experience, venting can be valuable as long as...
Changing Hearts, Minds, and Behavior around Conflict

Changing Hearts, Minds, and Behavior around Conflict

Before I start teaching a course or workshop about conflict management, I always tell my students that I have a modest goal for the class: to change their hearts, minds, and behaviors. We all laugh, because of course that isn’t really a modest goal; in fact, it’s a...